| October
1st of October
1. 1. 1781 Astronomer William
Herschel accidentally discovered the planet Uranus - Let me assure you
that I am here by accident, but accidents have been known to happen on
this day ... on this day etc.'
2nd of October
2. 1950 Charlie Brown and
Snoopy and friends made their first public appearance - 'Tonight as I stand
here with my thumb in my mouth
and holding my comforting table napkin to
my ear I'm reminded that ...
on this day etc.'
3rd of October
3. 1899 The Boer War began
- 'Now I'm not going to bore
you tonight but do you know that ... on this
day etc.'
4th of October
4. 1829 John Thompson of
London designed the first greeting card - 'Greetings
ladies and gentlemen, do you know that ...
on this day etc.'
5th of October
5. 1954 Rocker Bob Geldof
was born - 'When I woke up this morning I said to myself 'I
don't like Monday' and then I was reminded
that ... on this day etc.'
6th of October
6. 1985 Nigel Mansell won
his first Grand Prix - If you think I'm getting through this speech fast
it's probably because ... on this day etc.'
7th of October
7. 1876 Sarah Bernhardt
promoted the idea of a trouser suit for women - 'I'll start by skirting
the issue and telling you that ... on this
day etc.'
8th of October
8. 1680 The world's first
comedy theatre, La Comedie Francaise, was opened - 'I'll understand it
if you poke fun at
me tonight because ... on this day etc.'
9th of October
9. 1508 Leonardo da Vinci
first suggested the use of contact lenses - 'As I was madly looking
for a way to get out of making this speech I was reminded that ...
on this day etc.'
10th of October
10. 1792 Sir John Betjeman
was appointed Poet Laureate - 'I can assure you that I am not well versed
in the art of public speaking although I am reminded that ...
on this day etc.'
11th of October
11. 1986 Laser surgery was
first used - 'I wondered why I have this funny pain
in my tummy ... on this day etc.'
12th of October
12. 1808 The first practical
typewriter was build by Italian Pellegrino for a blind friend - 'As I blindly
fumble for my notes I am reminded that ...
on this day etc.'
13th of October
13. 1997 Andy Green broke
the sound barrier in his supersonic car Thrust - 'Ladies and gentlemen
wait until you hear
this ... ... on this day etc.'
14th of October
14. 1066 the Battle of Hastings
was fought... and won! - Ladies and Gentlemen this is definitely a day
for hasting through my speech...
on this day etc.'
15th of October
15. 1988 Stephen Hawking
published his best-seller A Brief History of Time - Ladies and gentlemen
I will be brief ... because ... on this day
etc.'
16th of October
16. 1815 Napoleon was exiled
to St. Helena - Ladies and Gentlemen you'd never guess where
I'm going after I finish this speech ...
on this day etc.'
17th of October
17. 1931 Al Capone was sentenced
to 11 years in prison for tax evasion - 'I have something very
taxing to say to you...
on this day etc.'
18th of October
18. 1792 The first Ambulance
was designed by Napoleon's personal surgeon - Ladies and gentlemen as I
stand here tonight there is a little siren
going off in my head. Maybe it's because ...
on this day etc.'
19th of October
19. 1849 American inventor
Walter Hurst patented the safety-pin - Ladies and Gentlemen last time I
stood up to make a speech my trousers fell
down but I can assure you that this won't
happen tonight because ... on this day etc.'
20th of October
20. 1946 Muffin the Mule
made his TV debut - 'Before I make a complete ass
of myself tonight can I tell you that ...
on this day etc.'
21st of October
21. 1805 Nelson was killed
at Trafalgar - 'As I look out on an ocean
of swimming faces
I'm reminded that ... on this day etc.'
22th of October
22. 1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin
made the first-ever parachute jump 'Here goes! Before I make the big
jump I am reminded that ...
on this day etc.'
23th of October
23. 1940 Soccer legend Pele
was born today - 'As I stand here wondering what to say to you a little
voice in my head keeps saying 'shoot!' ...
on this day etc.'
24th of October
24. 1910 Neon lighting was
displayed for the first time at the Paris Motor Show - 'I'm afraid that
the speech I have prepared for you is not a candle
on the fact that ... on this day etc.'
25th of October
25. 1905 The Cullinan, the
largest known rough diamond, was discovered in South Africa - 'Unaccustomed
as I am to public speaking I am comforted
by the fact that... on this day etc.'
26th of October
26. 1881 The Gunfight at
OK Corral took place on this day - 'Please don't
shoot me if you don't like what I say ...
on this day etc.'
27th of October
27. 1958 Blue Peter was
first televised - 'Maybe the reason why I'm feeling a bit
blue today is because ...
on this day etc.'
28th of October
28. 1949 Sooty and Sweep
made their first television debut - 'Huh! I thought I was going to share
my
speech debut today with somebody famous but...
on this day etc.'
29th of October
29. 1843 The world's first
telegram were sent from Paddington to Slough - ' An odd thing has just
happened to me, a telegram has
just arrived saying 'please don't speak! ... and I am reminded that ....
on this day etc.'
30th of October
30. 1938 Americans panicked
and people evacuated their homes when Orson Welles read The War of The
Worlds on Radio - 'please don't evacuate the room as I read my speech...
on this day etc.'
31st of October
31. 1891 American Express
introduced the first Travellers' Cheque - 'Pssssst! Wanna know how to get
rid of me ...
on this day etc.'
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