| June
1st of June
Marlyn Monroe was born on
this day in 1926 - 'I'm going to open my speech tonight by talking about
something gorgeous,
after that, I'm afraid everything goes into a rapid decline... do
you know that on this day etc.'
2nd of June
1941 Rolling Stones' drummer
Charlie Watts was born - 'Tell me, is that somebodydrummingtheir
fingers out there, or is that you Charlie?
... on this day etc.'
3rd of June
1967 Dr. Christian Barnard
performed the first human heart transplant - 'Today I'm going to be very
hearty indeed in what I say to you... on
this day etc.'
4th of June
4. 1913 Suffragette Emily
Davison threw herself under the King's horse in the Derby - 'I'm so nervous
I feel like throwing myself at your feet...
maybe this is because on this day etc.'
5th of June
5. 1969 Niall Armstrong
became the first man to set foot on the Moon - 'Before I put my foot
in
it can I mention to you that... on this day
etc.'
6th of June
1543 Copernicius published
his theory that the planets revolve around the Sun ... 'Do you ever get
the feeling that the room is slowly revolving
around you? Either I'm very - very - nervous
or it's because... on this day etc.'
7th of June
1991 'Iceman' the fully
preserved body of a stone age man was found in Italy - 'Is it my imagination
or is the everybody
looking at me very coldly
tonight... maybe it's because on this day
etc.'
8th of June
AD 122 The construction
of Hadrian's Wall was commanded - 'As I stand here before you, petrified
like stone I can't help calling to mind that...
on this day etc.'
9th of June
1944 Donald duck made his
film debut - 'It's a bit of a put-downer to think that I share the importance
of this day with a duck
... on this day etc.'
10th of June
1979 The first cellular
phone went into operation in Tokyo - 'Hello!
Hello! (with phone to ear) I'm about to give
a speech where are you? Huh! you're in the audience telling me that my
fly is open!... on this day etc.
11th of June
1975 The first oil was pumped
ashore from the North sea - 'I'm all at sea
about what to say to you, so let me start by telling you why I have an
oily
smile on my face
... on this day etc.'
12th of June
1979 Bryan Allen crossed
the Channel in a paddle boat - 'If he can do it on a day like this then
I should be able to paddle
my way out of this... on this day etc.'
13th of June
1900 The Boxer rising took
place in China - 'You may be wondering why I'm rising
to my feet in a typical Boxer's
stance... it's because on this day etc.'
14th of June
1206 The emergence of Genghis
Khan, ruler of the greatest empire ever known - 'As I stand here before
you I take great - GREAT!
- comfort from knowing that... on this day
etc.'
15th of June
1215 Magna Carta was signed
- 'You may wonder why I am using very big
(prompt)
cards today.
It's because... on this day etc.'
16th of June
1963 Valentina Tereshkova
became the first woman in space - 'Ladies.. ladies... ladies... this is
your day for spacing out...
on this day etc.'
17th of June
1775 Britain defeated America
in the battle of Bunker's Hill - 'If you think that I'm talking a load
of 'bunk' today
it's because... on this day etc.'
18th of June
1596 The water-closet was
invented by Sir John Harrington - 'Please
excuse me as I leave the room for a few moments
before I commence... on this day etc.'
19th of June
1829 Sir Robert Peel founded
the Metropolitan police - 'I'm told that if you can say something 'arresting'
at the beginning of your speech the rest comes easy. But the only arresting
thing that I can think of is.. on this day
etc.'
20th of June
1958 The hula hoop was launched
in America - 'No! I'm definitely not squirming
around in embarrassment up here, I doing this
because ... on this day etc.'
21st of June
1661 The first Banknotes
were introduced by the Swedish Bank of Stockholm - 'Maybe this explains
why every time I look at my notes all I can think of is: 'and
you're not even getting paid for making an idiot of yourself like this'
...
on this day etc.'
22nd of June
1937 Joe Louis became World
Heavyweight champion, a title he held for 11 years - 'One
... two ... three ... four...
I promise you I'll be out in 12! ... on this day etc.'
23rd of June
1911 George V was crowned
- 'Better people than I have been crowned
on a day like this... on this day etc.'
24th of June
1877 St John's Ambulance
was founded today - 'I asked them to carry
me away when I'm finished
... on this day etc.'
25th of June
1876 The Battle of Little
Bighorn was fought (and lost!) - 'You may wonder why I'm not blowing
my own trumpet too loudly tonight, it's because...
on this day etc.'
26th of June
1857 The first Victoria
Cross was awarded - 'When I consider how brave it is for someone like me
to stand in front of an audience like you I'm reminded that...because
on this day etc.'
27th of June
27. 1893 New Zealand became
the first country to give its female citizens the right to vote - 'You've
gotta be kind to me tonight ladies because it was the 'Speaker'
of the house' that proposed the motion... on
this day etc.'
28th of June
Mel Brooks was born today
in 1926 - 'If you find me babbling like a brook
tonight it's because... on this day etc.'
29th of June
1463 House numbering was
introduced in Paris on this day- 'Let me open my ADDRESS
to you by telling you that... on this day
etc.'
30th of June
1997 Britain handed Hong
Kong back to China - 'I'm hoping that you will all give me an equally
big hand at the end of my speech because ... on
this day etc.'
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