| February
1st of February
1879 Milk bottles were first
introduced by Echo Farms Limited in New York - "I've got this strange 'bottled
up' feeling as I stand here before you...
maybe
it's because on this day etc".
2nd of February
2300 BC The earliest known
reservoir was constructed in Egypt - "As you've probably observed I've
been drinking water
all night... maybe it's because on this day
etc."
3rd of February
1966 Russian Luna 9 landed
on the Moon - "Today is a great day
for mankind... not because I'm speaking but... because
on this day etc."
4th of February
1926 Michael Campbell broke
the world land speed record - "If you find that I'm covering
the ground rather fast in my speech... maybe
it's because on this day etc."
5th of February
1870 Minute hands appeared
on watches for the first time - "At first I felt offended when I saw you
all looking at your watches
when I stood up but then I remembered that... on
this day etc."
6th of February
1820 The first submarine
was tested in London - "I have this deep deep
feeling today ... maybe it's because on this
day etc."
7th of February
1964 The Beatles arrived
in the US and took the country by storm - "All I can say to you is 'HELP!'
... maybe it's because on this day etc."
8th of February
1928 Sir Alexander Flemming
discovered penicillin - "Now there was no need for the chairman to give
me a quick jab
to get me on my feet... because today is etc"
9th of February
1942 Today is the day the
famous racehorse Shergar disappeared - "As I stand here before you I can't
help hoping that I could quietly disappear
and I'm reminded that... on this day etc."
10th of February
1942 Glen Miller was presented
with the first-ever gold disk for Chattanooga Choo Choo - "Achoo
Achoo, no I'm not clearing my throat I'd just
like to draw your attention that... on this
day etc."
11th of February
1990 Nelson Mandela was
freed after 26 years' imprisonment - "Consider yourself lucky that you
only have to stay put and listen to me speaking to you for 26
seconds... do
you know that on this day etc."
12th of February
1777 The World's first Iron
Bridge was built today in the UK - "To be honest I feel like running away
and drowning myself but then I managed to steel
myself... maybe it's because on this day etc."
13th of February
1848 Today the first pneumatic
tyre was patented by Scottish engineer Robert Thompson - "Forgive me if
I talk hot air
to you today... it's because on this day etc
14th of February
AD 808 Gunpowder was first
described in China... I feel like I'm exploding
... maybe it's because on this day etc."
15th of February
1848 The planet Neptune
was discovered by Johann Gottfried Galle - "Tonight I have this odd spaced-out
feeling... maybe it's because on this day
etc."
16th of February
1947 - Chuck Yeager became
the first person to fly faster than the speed of sound - "Here is my speech
ladies and gentlemen... Rrrrrrrrrrr! ...
as you probably noticed I've given it to you almost faster
than the speed of sound ... that's
because on this day etc."
17th of February
1863 The Red Cross was founded
today - "All I can see is red
(Or... forgive my red
face) ... maybe it's because on this day etc."
18th of February
1797 Top Hats were introduced
in London by haberdasher John Hetherington - "Today is a very good day
for talking through your hat...
because
on this day etc."
19th of February
1847 Sir James Simpson discovered
the anaesthetic properties of chloroform - "Today, ladies and gentlemen
I am reminded that Sir James Simpson discovered a far more painless way
of putting everybody to sleep
... because on this day etc."
20th of February
AD 105 Paper was invented
by the Chinese - 'If you find my speech is rather long, don't blame me,
blame the Chinese for all these notes of mine... because
on this day etc.'
21st of February
1762 The Sandwich was invented
by the Earl of Sandwich's cook - 'Frankly I feel like a sandwich, stuck
here between two old crusts who are making sure that I don't run away...
maybe
it's because on this day etc.'
22nd of February
2000 WAP (wireless application
protocol) mobile phones link up to the internet - 'Pardon me while I use
my mobile phone to link up
to the little speech that I have prepared for you... do
you know that on this day etc.'
23rd of February
1836 The siege of The Alamo
began - 'Today was not a good day Davy Crokett
and I see absolutely no reason why it should be a good day for me either
... do you know that on this day etc.'
24th of February
1940 Soccer legend Denis
Law was born - 'Now I'm not going to lay down the Law
today, that was put down very successfully back in 1940... because
on this day etc.'
25th of February
1848 Karl Marx and Friedrich
Engels prepared the Communist Manifesto - 'I had planed to give you a little
manifesto today, but I found that my cards were already 'Markx'd'... because
on this day etc.'
26th of February
1815 Napoleon escaped from
Elba - 'Better men than me have escaped
from tighter corners than this today... because
on this day etc.'
27th of February
Alpinist Edward Whymper
was first to scale the Matterhorn - 'You are not going to hear a whimper
out of me today as I face this mountainous
task... maybe it's because on this day etc.'
28th of February
1912 Albert Perey became
the first person to parachute from a plane - 'I want you all to look up
in the air while I jump
off the stage and run... because on this day
etc.'
29th of February
Leap Year Day - 'Forgive
me if I jump
right in to what I want to say ... because
today is etc.'
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